The Rain
by Marauder-In-Disguise
Summary: Two old enemies meet at a graveside...


**A/N Just a little something that was on my mind for a while; the first Harry Potter I've done for a long time.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, I only borrow and play.**

Remus Lupin did attend the funeral of his best friends but he was so devastated, so in shock, that when the time came to bury them, he didn't have the strength to watch it happen. To watch would be to acknowledge, fully and unconditionally, that neither James nor Lily would be coming back. Instead, he chose to slink away and console himself with a bottle of Firewhisky. He'd realised that Firewhisky dulled the pain, if only for half an hour or so. Recently, he'd scoffed at Sirius when he used alcohol to distract himself after James and Lily went into hiding. Remus had thought that Sirius was behaving like a child but now he realised that the bastard had been drowning out the guilt, the voice, the thing that he was about to do and now Remus had turned to the bottle to mask his own guilt. How did he not realise what Sirius was doing? He'd been acting strangely for months and he, Remus, had been the one who spent the most time with him.

It was his fault, it was all his fault.

***

Severus Snape wouldn't have attended the funeral, even if he could. No one would want a Death Eater at the funeral of someone who had been killed by Lord Voldemort. It had been four days and Severus had not left home. He hadn't eaten, he hadn't slept, he hadn't even cried. He'd sat and read the letters he kept in a box under his bed. Every letter Lily had ever sent him, over and over and over again, cherishing every "Love Lily", wincing at every later letter where she asked him again and again why he had called her _that_ name and he hadn't answered because he had no explanation other than he was scared, he was stupid and such an idiot. He had thrown away the best thing in his life because of one slip of the tongue and never had the courage to reconcile with her. But he had tried to protect her, so much. He'd tried everything but the Dark Lord was so strong, even Dumbledore hadn't managed it. He knew there was nothing he could have done but the possibility still haunted him.

It was his fault. It was all his fault.

***

As if he didn't have enough to deal with, the night after the funeral was a full moon. Remus was so exhausted that he wished, for not the first time of course, that he didn't have to deal with this debilitating condition. In a fit of anger at his circumstances, Remus gulped down his Wolfsbane and Apparated to the graveyard near the church in Godric's Hollow. He knew that he shouldn't be out in the full moon – he could be dangerous to someone – but with his Wolfsbane he shouldn't be too much trouble and he wanted, he needed, to be near to them.

Falling in front of their grave, transforming even as he read the inscription, he felt the rain begin to fall.

***

Severus paced his tiny kitchen, five paces forwards, five paces back, five paces forwards. Out of the window, he noticed that the moon was full. The animal Lupin would be out stalking tonight, biting children or whatever it was he did.

So far, Severus had avoided being called upon by other Death Eaters, who he knew to be panicking after the disappearance of the Dark Lord. Karkaroff had tried to contact him through the Floo network a couple of hours before but he had hidden in the bathroom. A sudden knock brought him back to his senses.

"Severus? Are you in there?" called the high, terrified voice of Lucius Malfoy, "I need to talk to you."

Without thinking, Severus Apparated. He didn't know where he would end up, so it was sickly poetic that he ended up in the graveyard of Godric's Hollow. Crouching behind a tree, he watched as the animal Lupin transformed before his eyes, sniffed, howled and lay down at the gravestone.

As Severus wrapped his cloak around himself and sat leaning against the tree, he felt the rain begin to fall.

***

As the moon began its slow descent at about six the next morning, Remus stirred and began to change back. With tattered robes, he painfully pulled himself to his knees and read the inscription on the gravestone again and again – "The last enemy that shall be defeated is death". If only.

Reaching out a trembling hand to trace the names with his fingers, he began to sob, "I'm so sorry. I should have known what he was doing. This is all my fault."

A sudden noise made Remus snatch out his wand. To his horror, Snape was stood behind him, the hood of his cloak pulled up against the chill of the morning.

"What the hell are you doing here, Snape?"

"I suspect the same as you, Lupin."

Almost sidestepping Remus completely, Severus took a turn at kneeling in front of the stone. From within his robes he pulled a single white lily, which he placed tenderly on the earthy mound, thick tears finally streaming down his face. Whether from the shock of seeing a wanted Death Eater or the numbness he was still feeling, Remus had no other reaction than to join Severus at the grave, his head bowed in a strange kind of respect for the other man's grief. Despite all that had happened between them, neither would say that they truly hated the other. Remus had always despised the way James and Sirius treated Snape and he knew Lily had too, even after she herself stopped acknowledging him. It was true that Snape was a slimy git who tried to expose his secret but Remus of all people recognized another soul that was crying out for friendship and acceptance. Severus, on the other hand, knew that it was never Lupin who was the problem in his life. Indeed, he was there and he was too weak to stand up to his friends but he never threw a punch, cast a spell or uttered a taunt, even when Severus had tried to expose his secret. He had obviously controlled himself. They would never be friends but both understood the other more than either would care to admit. Side by side in their grief now, old rivalries meant nothing. What hurt was here and now, knowing that, in both cases, people they cared deeply for were gone and both believed it to be their fault.

As he stood up and attempted to brush the mud from his robes, Severus surprised himself and Remus by saying, "If it makes this day any easier for you Lupin, what you said before isn't true. This wasn't your fault. It was mine."

And he was gone; entirely unsure why he made such a gesture to someone he didn't care much for. A cry for help? Self pity? Or just a fleeting moment when he realised that someone else needed a hand on the shoulder, a kind word in the ear, just like Lily would have done.

"For Lily," he murmured.

Remus, in the meantime, had gathered himself enough to touch the stone one last time, pull himself to his feet and Apparate home for a post-moon sleep. As he settled into bed, he wasn't sure if his encounter with Snape was real or not. Had he dreamt it? It made more sense if he had. As he closed his eyes and felt the blessed relief of sleep begin to wash over him, Remus concluded sadly that had circumstances been different, he and Severus Snape could really have got along rather well.


End file.
